"There is nothing disgusting about you... A-Lan." So quiet, but without hesitation. Xingchen leans into that hold. He feels... empty, and the warmth is welcome. "You did what you needed to do. You want who you want. Is it not right to want who hasn't hurt you?"

A friend, Zichen has said. A part of Xingchen is roaring, wanting for bad things to happen to his other self, and he flinches away from it, horrified. It comes back with shouting that Zichen is his, and. Xingchen curls a little against the solid chest, all his words dissolving into a quiet, "no-no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." For what he did. For what he wished just now. For not being enough. For not being able to protect those Zichen cared about, for not being able to protect Zichen, for not being able to protect his his other self. He's sorry. He's sorry.