It is a matter of expression, but also... Xingchen murmurs, oh so softly, "does he look a lot like me?"
But then he shakes his head. It doesn't matter, does it? The pang of pain, the ice cold water down his spine - that this less broken version of him, that the version of him who hasn't dealt the final blow to Zichen, will be a better choice - it doesn't matter.
That Zichen is upset? That does matter.
Xingchen reaches to place a hand over Zichen's sleeve. massaging gently the tense muscle beneath it.
"I believe... that what the poison wanted you to do, you did not do. But if 'nothing' happened, then you wouldn't be upset by it.
"Please do not be. Whatever... whatever else may be, I do not own you. Your choices on what to do and what not do, I will not try to make them for you. I will not try to take them from you." Xingchen has not controlled the fierce corpse that Zichen became after Xingchen took his life, but those choices were still taken away from him.
"Whatever you did, it was yours to do. I will not think less of you for it."
He means every word.
And at the same time, some of them grate, almost hurt. Xingchen does not understand it, himself, so he pushes it down. This is about Zichen. He will do everything write by Zichen, this time.
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But then he shakes his head. It doesn't matter, does it? The pang of pain, the ice cold water down his spine - that this less broken version of him, that the version of him who hasn't dealt the final blow to Zichen, will be a better choice - it doesn't matter.
That Zichen is upset? That does matter.
Xingchen reaches to place a hand over Zichen's sleeve. massaging gently the tense muscle beneath it.
"I believe... that what the poison wanted you to do, you did not do. But if 'nothing' happened, then you wouldn't be upset by it.
"Please do not be. Whatever... whatever else may be, I do not own you. Your choices on what to do and what not do, I will not try to make them for you. I will not try to take them from you." Xingchen has not controlled the fierce corpse that Zichen became after Xingchen took his life, but those choices were still taken away from him.
"Whatever you did, it was yours to do. I will not think less of you for it."
He means every word.
And at the same time, some of them grate, almost hurt. Xingchen does not understand it, himself, so he pushes it down. This is about Zichen. He will do everything write by Zichen, this time.